"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

-- Robert Frost

Friday, May 14, 2010

Choosing the good

She's got so much fire and so much determination. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. I keep telling myself if I can just gear her toward latching on to correct principles, she will drive that determination full force in the right direction.

But boy it's hard. It's a constant fight.

Her baptism on Saturday was beautiful. I think she liked it best because it was all about her. Everyone here to see her, lots of hugs, focused attention. Janie eats that up with a spoon. She needs attention and she'll take it, good or bad. That's the hair yanking truth of it.

A little while back, she left her purse laying around and I picked it up spilling it's contents in the process and I found this:

But it's empty. Not one page written on. I thought it the cutest thing ever and didn't really want to invade her privacy but couldn't help myself. One night while tucking her in, I asked her about it. I wanted to know why she'd not written in it yet. She said she just hadn't made any good choices.

It was hard for me to hear that she felt that way because she is so great in so many ways.

I reminded her that her choice to come to our family was good and encouraged her to look for opportunities to make some to write about. And now she has one to include.

Super strong willed children teeter on an edge. They'll have their way come heck or high water. It's almost like a supernatural power. It's useless to try to break them and would be really sad if we did. So, as her mother, I'm trying to think of this power as being something divinely ingrained. And if I can help her hone that laser focus in the right direction, that really will be something.

And when I remember that one thing, then mornings like today's difficult one make me re-evaluate ways I can redirect that unbreakable deterimination into a force for good.

Because everyone's self esteem should be boosted by a spy book brimming with good choices.


  1. This reminds me of something a teacher once said in RS. She talked about children who are strong willed and encouraged us to remember that they were fresh from the war in heaven where they had to fight with everything they had for their free agency. That was just the thing I needed to hear at the time because I was dealing with one of my own strong willed children. Her words helped me to view my child in a totally different light! I'll bet Janie was an amazing leader before she came here. I'm sure she'll go on to do amazing things when she grows up. How could she not? She has you as her mother!

  2. She reminds me a lot of myself. I've always had a special place in my heart for her.