"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

-- Robert Frost

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Summer's End

At the end of every summer, I always feel like maybe I didn't do enough. I read of great moms making summer bucket lists and sticking to them to see to it that they accomplished all that they hoped for those warm months with kids home.

I, myself, wrote a post with hopes of doing this same thing and then time got away from me. It went something like this:

There's always an ongoing list scrolling through my head. And sometimes it prevents me from fully relaxing. Tidy up, do a load, make that phone call, write that note. It's always there and has no end. I mentally check things off and add more to the bottom. Often it prevents me from taking advantage of the "want to's" because of the ever pressing "have to's".

I read a book that encourages getting away from mental list making. It's a good theory. Forget about the list. Live only in the present. I'm truly quite scatter-brained without a list. Attention deficit kicks in and the impending mayhem is really ugly. I flit like a perplexed moth from one project to the next, beginning everything, finishing nothing.

But I get the point. Learning to put the list aside and take advantage of the moments right in front of me would be one of the traits I'd really like to acquire. I've even put it on my list...

... Followed by our summer list. And then I never made that list ... intentionally. We just let go of all lists and let some things take priority over others as we embraced summer with the tightest of squeezes.

This morning I awoke at the same time as usual to get people off to school. It was a little bit darker and a little bit chiller. I lay in the early morning dark, pulling the comforter up just a bit further near my chin as I listened to the breeze outside the window knock acorns from the trees to clatter on the metal shed rooftop.

Sans the list, was it everything I hoped? I think so. I'll have no regrets. And so I say, Summer, thanks for teaching me to wrap my heart around the "want-to's" of every single day. My favorite of seasons, I learned so much from you.

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