"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

-- Robert Frost

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I'm still on a weekend high...

And I'm just coming out of it.

The primary program is off the checklist. It's always hard sitting on one side to know of the other side's perception. I think it was great. It was great for me anyway and I guess that's really all that matters. And it's great to have it done.

My two youngest brothers and their wives came to visit from Utah for the weekend. I didn't want to bombard them with camera shots from every angle so I've got nothing to show for the visit but the memories probably outweigh any photos I could have taken anyway.

A few thoughts:

1) I've been on my kids cases about grades as the recent trimester has come to a close. I won't say specifically which kids. I've expressed plenty of frustration over forgotten assignments and unpreparedness. I remember my mother doing the same with these two brothers. They were elementary as I was graduating. I remember her concern for them. They are now such fantastically well balanced, successfully educated adults. What strikes me is that for all of my worry, prayers, and promptings in regards to my own children, as long as I keep mothering them in a deliberate fashion, they are going to turn out to be well balanced, successfully educated adults too. If we saw the end from the beginning, we mothers probably wouldn't try as hard as we need to. I just have to do my part as she did and never let up or throw in the towel.

2) I watched my teens lay on the floor and soak in the adult conversation of two of the cutest boys (and their wives) that I know. The school environment isn't great, the bus isn't either. I hope I'm gearing everyone toward good responsible friends, but the fact is -- we all become a lot like the people we associate ourselves with. My kids hung on every word and I loved that. I loved looking at those two young men and hoping for my boys to be like them and my girls to find husbands of such great character. I really need to take more opportunities to put my children in the midst of family. It gives them something to aspire to, lets them know where they came from, and helps them gauge what is expected of them.

3) My sister in laws took my girls for a little shopping trip. I was pretty wiped out after managing 150 primary age children at church for our Saturday program practice and so I bowed out. Then I spent the entire time they were gone feeling guiltily neglectful. What kind of hostess sends her guests off with her female children in total abandonment? But on their return, my girls faces were positively radiant. I asked if my sister in laws had survived and apologized up front for any disagreements and fights there might have been along the way. They "claimed" there hadn't been any, that my girls had excitedly showed one another their wares and pooled their change to spend every last drop in remarkable companionship. Lies, I know it, but appreciated lies. And Celia glowed of stories later of feeling so grown up with her young aunts. Had I gone and done my usual micromanagement, the experience just wouldn't have been the same and it was definitely one they won't soon forget and probably just what they needed. I hope my girls learn to be like them.

4) Neither of these two couples have children as of yet. Eliza, who is a girl in love with "daddies" whether in deed or not, spent her entire weekend cuddled in the lap of each successively. She'd back into one and curl right up, get down and back into another and then repeat. She was held to her hearts content. Each brother talked and talked about getting the chance to have "one of these". I even heard one wife's gentle reprimand that she needed to finish school first -- even though she, herself, really wanted to just go home and start their own family right away. I so appreciated that. Sometimes in the craziness of it all, I forget what it was like in the beginning. The hopes and dreams for the future. I wanted all of this. And yeah, it is turning out just as I dreamed. The shine of the newness can rub off in the day to day of things and it's a good reminder to see how I, myself, felt in the beginning by watching these young couples.

5) I pray for my children constantly. I know my mom spent more time on her knees for those two. And look at them now. Just start with their wives -- couldn't ask for better. And my brothers, themselves, are such remarkable guys. I adored watching them and was struck by how effective her prayers must have been. My children have lately been faced with some of the world's ugliest problems and all that my heart could tell me this weekend was to look at the effect of a mother's prayers. Time to raise the bar for myself because heaven knows, my children are going to need it.

A whirlwind trip for them, I know, but I'm so glad they came and I'm so glad they have grown to be the examples that they and their wives are for my children. Thanks for coming and sharing time with us. And thanks, Mom, for doing such a great job with those two.


  1. "If we saw the end from the beginning, we mother's probably wouldn't try as hard as we need to. I just have to do my part as she did and never let up or throw in the towel."
    I LOVE this line. LOVE it. If I remember this, I am SUCH a better mother. I don't react out of fear of all the future mistakes they MIGHT make, and give them the benefit of the doubt they deserve...and at the same time...keeping on working.
    Great post (and I love catching up on your blog!)

  2. PS. Will you email me? I want to ask your permission to use something profound you write in a comment for a post I'm writing. slt3969@gmail.com

  3. Such a great post. Thanks so much, once again, for saying just what I needed to hear! I so miss living next door. It would be so nice to have you close again and be inspired by your thoughts whenever I needed a little lift. You're FABULOUS!!