"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

-- Robert Frost

Friday, January 27, 2012

Family Dynamics

I worried about a future where a five year gap left this girl with just me and Newel long after all the others had flown the coop. Somebody's got to be the baby and the baby usually does get left behind. Sometimes that's preferable.  Sometimes it's not.

I figured we had few other choices than to just try and make sure we were the three musketeers so that high school years wouldn't be quietly endured with the old folks.

I have friends who have tail-enders.  I have friends .. and parents ... who have been tail-enders.  Their experiences seem to have worked out for them. I still couldn't help but worry about our family dynamics. How hard would it be to go from constant attention in a hubbub herd to cold turkey only-child-ness as the nest gradually emptied five years before Eliza would do the same?  I see my children confide in one another.  Each has a go-to person to tell secrets, share experiences or tattletale on when Mom really needs to be in the know.  

I just couldn't tell the future and I knew not that the future would hold yet another baby. Another friend to join the tail-end group, kind of puts my mind at ease.

On the flip side ... none of my children can remember their time alone with me.  All with the exception of Grant, were shoved out by a new baby on the way.  That does make me a little sad though it can't be helped. I remember each fondly along with our honeymoon period.  Grant's was longer than any other and he does remember a time when it was just me, him and cuddly afternoon naps. I'm a little sorry they all can't remember though I wouldn't do anything differently.

So, with excitement mounting for early July and this girl finally going from saying, "No baby" to "My baby", I can't help but hope that in her future's fond recollections, she will hold a distant memory that one day, long ago ... there were just the two of us. 


  1. Oh the sweetness...that last picture is a definite framer!! I just love her curls, and those eyes! She will make a great big sister :)

  2. I'm not a fan of the tail-ender situation myself--Russ was 4 years after the one above him, and consequently he spent much of his high school years at other people houses where there was more action. I'm just as happy that we'll have a mob scene till it's over!

  3. Oh!!!!!!!! It makes me a little sad to know that Mary probably won't remember our time together - it has been such a joy for me. This pregnancy - at first - I felt a little sad that it wouldn't be just her and me anymore. She's been my little companion and friend. But then when I started feeling so sick I was looking forward to her having a playmate. I guess it is okay that only I will remember because it will always be a source of joy remembering. And maybe she will experience the same thing when she has kids.