"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in."

-- Robert Frost

Monday, January 28, 2013

in my own little corner, in my own little chair

How do you know a girl's got older siblings in the drama department?

Friday ... while finally taking down that darn Christmas tree ... Eliza was playfully carrying on a private conversation between two ornaments over in the corner. I came to a stopping point and announced nap time.
If looks could kill. "Do not interrupt my monologue!" she tells me crossly.

She waited her little heart out to meet Santa Claus at a Wednesday night youth activity over the holiday. Her question from the darkened back seat of the car on the way, "Santa likes little kids, right?" told me she was having second thoughts. That jolly ole elf entered the cultural hall sending her fight or flight reflex into high gear in rival of a Grand Mal seizure.

Not very long after, on an evening out and about town, an errand had us swinging by to pick up teenage kids from the Denver LDS temple. 

"It's the Lord's house!" her voice sang once again from the rearward darkness of the car. Pulling into the parking lot, the protests began small. "Jesus isn't going to come out of His house and say hi to me, is He ??" turning to inconsolable hysterics.

I couldn't really blame her.

I might, indeed, find myself in the same state had Jesus seen fit to come on out for a greet and gossip through my driver's side window.

A friend approached me about pre-school plans for Eliza over the weekend. Some kids I sent. Some kids I didn't. I know there's good socialization to be had.  I'm aware of the loads of benefits. I've seen them in action. And yes, she'd seem a candidate in need. 

But boy, am I loathe to stare that monster in the face.

I don't even want to think about it. Not one little bit. They go away forever, much too quickly. And I like my days with her in them. And I love watching my two littlest girls together.

So, please excuse me if I choose to ignore. I just can't do it. Not this time.


  1. Don't blame you one bit. Although I did really need the triplets to go off to mother's morning out 2 mornings a week the year they were 3, for the most part I've been just fine not being able to afford preschool...

    1. Yes, Cindy, I had those that I "needed" to go too. But some ... It's just too hard.

  2. Ignore away. I do it all the time! As for Jesus coming to visit....hmmm...never quite thought about it that way. It is sort of scary if you think about it that way. Recently, we were in a Catholic church where Jesus is on the cross just about everywhere you turn. V-girl whispered questions to me about Jesus on the cross. I whispered answers back and said something like, "...and someday you will get to go live in heaven with him..." She didn't say anything for a while and went and sat with other family members. Then, she came back with tears in her eyes and announced, "I don't want to go to heaven." I tried to soothe her quietly. Her final question to me was, "They aren't going to put me on a cross to, are they?" I have gotten so used to seeing the image of Christ on the cross that I forgot how traumatic it looked....how traumatic it actually was.....insight through a child's eye, huh?

    1. Isn't their perspective funny? When I looked at her way, I could see though her eyes. What a funny story! Kayla, you must write that one down ;)

  3. Gorgeous Gorgeous photos of a beautiful little girl. :-)

    1. Thank you, thank you! She really is a joy.