In the past I've laughed with friends about lowering expectations on this day so as not to feel pressure to suppress feelings of mild disappointment when tears of children and petty arguments of teens inevitably crept in.
I've spoken to sisters about guilty feelings over not being all of the mythical things that other mothers whom we are celebrating, must be.
I've even focused on gratitude for mothers in my life and for the opportunity to be one myself.
This year began with opening my sleepy eyes to the sounds of little girls waking up their dad next to me with plans of breakfast in bed. I shut my eyes and pretended to sleep away just as I've done for years.
He jumped up and headed off to the kitchen with them simultaneously shushing each other and chattering away. I listened without moving to their clinking and clanking around the kitchen.
I couldn't help sneak out of bed to peek through a crack in the door to get a picture of Newel sitting to color cute cards at the table as smells of toast and eggs came from the kitchen.
It quickly occurred to me that Mother's Day had nothing to do with breakfasts & gifts or grandly admirable traits or even a perfectly orchestrated tearless day ... even though those things are so special.
Mother's day is a day to soak in the wonder.
Wonder that little spirits come into a home and two people can shape and mold an environment of learning and growth.
Wonder that individuals with such varying personalities can love one another so fiercely.
Wonder that women everywhere touch the lives of those around them in so many ways for good.
Christian came in freshly showered and seeking help in clarifying some thoughts on a talk he had written for our sacrament meeting at church. His topic centered around all that mother's teach us.
As we conversed, my heart was full for a boy who was growing into man of firm belief. A boy that some days I wanted to smash flat ... but who is also gaining so much of importance that most days those feelings easily dissipate.
Our conversation really led to one thing that Mothers do best.
Moms teach us to recognize our mistakes.
Moms teach us how to feel sorry for our wrongs.
Moms teach us to make things right where we can.
Moms teach us to move forward making positive changes.
And they do it over and over again. It's not always pretty and it's not always pleasant. But moms do it best and sometimes even practice it themselves.
It's what makes the wonder of a mother.
That she walks hand in hand with an Eternal Father, teaching an eternal plan.
And when she feels lost or not up to the challenge or the weight of failure, she calls on her right to heaven's help to keep on going and teach it again ... and usually even more opportunities to practice won't be far behind ;)
I couldn't be more grateful for the women of my life who have touched and changed me.
Most especially this one:
She lay the groundwork for everything this little girl would hold dear:
And this one:
Who was teaching those same things to this little boy on the opposite side of the country, getting him ready just for me.
All of my love, as I marvel at the wonder of all that you are.